This has been a long time coming. I’ve gotten the fuck out of Paris.

I’m writing this from Évry, which is only 30 KM from the beastly city. But quickly the scenery has returned to the France I’m used to.

… Except for this.



I’m being serious, France. You make no fucking sense.

Someone I stayed with in Amiens excitedly showed me some popular Youtube videos by a Mr. Paul Tyler, a Londoner who lives with his wife in Paris. His series is called ‘What the Fuck France’.

Maybe I should make my own insanely-popular Youtube series? He makes it look easy. Just be a little out of place in a culture, then loudly say things to a camera. Some few years ago my Japanese pen-pal showed me a similar Youtube series of a Tokyo citizen in Dublin. He had an entire video of him staring at condom dispensers in pub toilets and muttering ‘woooooow’.

I did the same thing seeing those dispensers on street walls here. ‘Wooooooow’. One million hits, right there.

It does surprise me somewhat that France really does have a slightly different culture to England & America. I say that because I see modern culture in Ireland, England and America to be almost exactly the same. There are differences here and there. Ireland has it’s own damn language, but for the most part the majority of people have taken to this slightly meme-styled culture.

An old friend of mine discussed it over the phone with me not long ago. We hadn’t seen each other in a long time, so we were sharing general updates. I asked him about the people at his college; he studies astrophysics at Trinity University (considered by most to be Ireland’s best uni).

‘I don’t understand’, he said, as if traumatised. ‘They just laugh, and laugh. I want to talk about politics. Morality. No, actually I don’t care – I want to talk about the damned weather. But they just keep laughing’.

I was a little confused. This guy was someone I almost declared an enemy because of how hyper he was. He was the loudest guy in my group of friend’s from school.

‘What are they laughing at’, I asked with my monotone voice.

‘Memes’, he said. Almost in tears. ‘Memes, everywhere’.

Then, the heavens opened. Christ cracked a joke, but it wasn’t internal enough so no one got it.

I’ve heard that it’s generally agreed that there was a Christ, as a historical figure. I wonder how competent  a figure he really was? Was the bible written because this figure was an clever revolutionary? There’s a certain ilk of people who intentionally build mystery, and even mysticism around themselves. I once convinced a man I could see glimpses of the future. We were flicking through the radio. A bad song came on so I said ‘the next one’. But the fellow was already changing the station. He misheard me, he thought I said ‘Bell X1’. Sure enough, the next song that came on was by the band ‘Bell X1’.

As far as I could tell he really believed something mystical happened. He looked at me with awe in his eyes. ‘How did you know?’

I winked, and left to talk with someone else.

I wonder if he still really believes that I predicted something so mundane, or if he had the sense to figure it out later.

I’ve seen this taken to extreme extents. A wife I met believed her husband saved her from cancer because he said he wouldn’t let her die. Was this figure, Christ, such a man? Or, was the bible written because there was another great (or manipulative) figure behind the scenes; someone who knew how to exaggerate the greatness of a martyr. Was Christ unknowingly made the figure we know of today?

It seems a little strange today, musing about a revolutionary in the middle east. Modern revolutionaries around that part of the world are treated and seen a little differently.

Funny, let’s imagine the Catholics are right… The way the New Testament is written suggests that there was no real destiny or divine intervention in a lot of ordeals. So he fulfilled a prophecy or two, whatever. For the most part he just seemed to win followers with speech and very minor shows of magic powers. It wasn’t exactly ordained by God that he would become as influential as he did, nor was it ordained that he would die the way he did.

So imagine now the re-incarnation occurred; of course it would make sense for Jesus to return to the Middle East. Maybe he’s born in Palestine…


If he’s not supported by destiny, he would just die. Pretty much as simple as that. Even if he survived long enough to earn a following, he would surely be killed for his potential as a war leader.

If there was a second coming, Jesus would probably need to… Be born in America, and frequently perform reality-breaking miracles on a considerable scale. Which kind of defeats the point of… Of Jesus?..

Here’s a further thought, if New Testament was wholly accurate, and Jesus was who he was… His ‘good news’ would never have spread to the majority of the world today without the Romans having murdered a lot of people and conquered a lot of land. Emperor Claudius did more for God than Jesus ever did.

I like to occasionally assume a mindset that opposes my own. I found a church in a small town some few weeks ago, and could then see how I could succeed in living my dirt road life as some sort of vagabond priest, and still keep my faith. I could have entered that small church, stumbled across the local priest, and he would perhaps interpret me as some messenger from God. Maybe I’d begin to think I am a messenger from God?

Usually I can imagine how some priest-version of myself would keep his faith through various trials. But I can’t really imagine priest-Nate having a think about, say, the insignificance of the actual Christ as compared to the significance of a monotheistic religion being spread through conquest. Would priest-Nate bare the thought that he wouldn’t have heard about Christ and become a priest if not for the fucked up, militant nature of humanity? I think priest-Nate would have to be one of those cheesy all-gods-is-the-one-god believers, who arbitrarily subscribes to Roman Catholic customs because that’s what he’s used to. How would he handle just how fucked a messiah would be in the modern world? Maybe the CIA have murdered several messiahs, and God has to just keep forgiving our sins and pumping out new messiahs. Victor Jara’s story is kind of similar to Jesus’.

It seems increasingly true to me that giving importance to Jesus is a very petty thing. The world is active, has changed immensely, and is a good deal more fucked up than it was. Sure the standards of living is higher, but the magnitude of our problems is immeasurably more grave. What’s God solution to overpopulation? Does priest-Nate consider how far above morality the issue of overpopulation is? Will Jesus re-install China’s one-child policy? Will he break democracy to install necessarily extreme policies like that? Democracy and extreme action like birth policies cannot co-incide. Does Jesus realise that? Why should anyone waste their time on inner peace through faith, when we might all one-day explode?

I’ve noticed this blog has been liked numerous times by devout followers of Christianity. I’m only writing this post because I’ve been struggling to structure my thoughts, so I’ve just been letting myself document a train of thought without structuring it like I should in a piece of writing.

I’m committing a grave writing sin, and might be shooting myself in the foot by insulting the philosophy of some of the only people who have read my writing. Is it worth it?

But of course.

Because of my destiny.

No, see. It’s in the post. My destiny. Like I said, I’ve written this post without intent, direction, or purpose. But within the randomness of it all, I think I’ve figured it out.

It all out. The truth. It’s all making sense now. Get this message out to priest-Nate, because the truth, discovered in-between lines of this here post…

Is that Jesus,

is a meme.




So maybe if the clouds broke open, the world really would be laughing.

((Meme culture was created by God so we would recognise the second Jesus. Christ, 2020.))